WILL ROBINSON

We've all seen those warnings
that come on new products
and I've run across a few
that made me laugh at first
The more I think about it though
the more I understand why they're there
It means someone has used the product incorrectly
and in this strange culture we live in
has seen fit to sue the manufacturer
for not informing them
of the hazards of the product

For example,
I recently purchased a new iron
and in large bold print near the on switch
it read "DO NOT IRON CLOTHES WHILE WEARING"
Duh! Seems like common sense to me
but apparently not to everyone
The fact that the warning is on there
means someone has done this

Danger, Warning Will Robinson
This product may cause injury
Danger, Warning Will Robinson
Do not use this product improperly

Then there's the new toaster I bought
This warning was only written in Spanish
and translated to "Hot Surface, Do not Touch"
Now wouldn't you think if those little wires
inside the toaster were glowing red
that the surface of the toaster might be hot?
And is it only Spanish speaking people
who don't understand this?
Guess that leaves me free to sue

Or how about the new washing machine
with pages of warnings to wade through
before you reach the operating section
"Do not mix gasoline or other flamable
liquids with the wash water."
Are you kidding me?
Has someone really done this?
Maybe I'll try some power plus
on my whites see if I can get rid of
that ring around the collar YIKES!

Written by Michael Frazier © November 26, 2007